DISCLAIMER: These pages do not reflect the thoughts or opinions of either myself, my employer, my phamily, my phriends, or my pets. Don't quote me on that; don't quote me on anything. Copyright (C) 2005, Phred's Phamous Phamily of Phun Ltd[tm]; all rights reserved. This document is copyrighted to the extent that you may distribute it and all its associated parts phreely, but you may not make a profit phrom it, or include the message in commercial publications without written permission phrom the Phool-in-Charge. These pages are subject to change without notice. The pages are enlarged slightly to show detail. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or not, is unintentional and purely coincidental. Hand wash only, tumble dry on low heat. Do not bend, phold, mutilate, or spindle. Your mileage may vary. No substitutions allowed. This offer is void where prohibited, taxed, or otherwise restricted. It is provided "as is" without any warranties expressed or implied and user assumes phull liabilities. Not liable phor damages due to use or misuse. An equal opportunity employer. No shoes, no shirt, no viewing. Quantities are limited while supplies last. If defects are discovered, do not attempt to phix them yourself. Return to an authorized service center. Caveat emptor. Read at your own risk. PARENTAL ADVISORY: explicit lyrics; text may contain material some readers may phind objectionable, parental guidance is advised; keep away phrom sunlight, pets, and small children. Limit one per phamily please. No money down; no purchase necessary; you need not be present to be here. Some assembly required and of course, batteries are not included. Action phigures sold separately. No preservatives added. Safety goggles must be worn during use. Sealed phor y our protection. Do not use if the safety seal is broken. Call before you dig. Phor external use only; if a rash, redness, irritation, or swelling develops, discontinue use and consult a physician. Use only with proper ventilation; avoid extreme temperatures and store in a cool dry place. Keep away phrom open phlames and avoid inhaling phumes. Avoid contact with mucous membranes. Do not puncture, incinerate, or store above 120 degrees Phahrenheit. Do not place near phlammable or magnetic source. Smoking may be hazardous to your health. The best safeguard, second only to abstinence, is the use of a good laugh. Text used in these pages is made phrom 100% recycled electrons and magnetic particles; no animals were used to test the validity of these pages. No salt, MSG, artificial color or phlavor added. If ingested, do not induce vomiting. If symptoms persist, consult someone who knows more than you. Ribbed phor your pleasure; slippery when wet. Must be 18 or older to enter. Possible penalties phor early withdrawal. Offer valid only at participating URLs. Slightly higher west of the Rockies; allow phour to six weeks phor delivery. This disclaimer does not cover hurricane, lightning, tornado, tsunami, volcanic eruption, earthquake, phlood, and other Acts of God, misuse, neglect, unauthorized repair, damage phrom improper installation, broken antenna or marred cabinet, incorrect line voltage, missing or altered serial numbers, sonic boom vibrations, electromagnetic radiation phrom nuclear blasts, customer adjustments that are not covered in the manual, and incidents owing to airplane crash, ship sinking, motor vehicle accidents, leaky roof, broken glass, phalling rocks, mud slides, phorest phire, phlying projectiles, or dropping the item. Objects in monitor are closer than they appear. This page has been known to induce vomiting. Not phor viewing by expectant mothers. Do not attempt to operate heavy machinery while viewing this page. This page has been known to induce vomitting by expectant mothers operating heavy machinery. Other restrictions may apply.